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Balthus enters the scene
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Balthus
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Hyah! Ha! Hiiiyah!
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Hilda enters the scene
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Hilda
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Baltie? Still training at this hour? How unexpectedly diligent of you.
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Balthus
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Ah, Hilda! How are things? Anything...of note to report?
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Hilda
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Um...no? I'm not sure what you mean.
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Balthus
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Oh, I don't know. You haven't been approached by any lovelorn goons lately, have you?
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Hilda
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Hmm, now that you mention it, it's been a few days since any guys have flirted with me.
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Balthus
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Fantastic. They got the hint.
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Hilda
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Whoa, whoa, wait a second. Are you pulling some weird prank on me?
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Balthus
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Of course not. I'm just doing my best to keep my promise to Holst, that's all.
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Hilda
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Oh, not this again. That was ages ago! I'm sure my brother's forgotten all about it.
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Balthus
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Dead wrong, pal. I actually had the chance to see him recently, and he had a new request for me.
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Hilda
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What? He told you to get rid of any guys who show interest in me, so that I stay his innocent little sister forever?
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Balthus
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That sounds more like Seteth than Holst, don't you think?
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Balthus
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That's extreme, Hilda. You really think he'd do something like that?
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Hilda
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Mm, fair point. What was the request?
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Balthus
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Guys here have the gall to consider you a potential bride. It's my job to test 'em. See if they're worthy.
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Hilda
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I don't like where this is going.
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Balthus
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Since Holst isn't here to do the honors, I've spread the word that nobody is fit to marry you unless they can defeat the Great King of Grappling in a fight.
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Hilda
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What?! That's exactly the same as getting rid of them!
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Balthus
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How so? It only eliminates the guys who are dumb enough to take up the challenge.
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Hilda
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No one is that dumb. No one around here thinks they can beat the Stupendous King of Grappling or whatever.
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Balthus
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That's why I leveled the playing field by allowing sneak attacks. Plenty have already tried their luck.
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Balthus
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One guy actually tried to strangle me in my sleep.
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Hilda
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Wow, a sleep-strangler. He sounds like husband material.
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Balthus
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And that's why I've been training so much. Can't let you end up with some weakling, after all.
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Hilda
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This is madness! If you keep getting stronger, there won't be anyone who fits the bill!
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Balthus
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True. You could spend your whole life searching and never find a match for Balthus the Great.
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Balthus
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The only people who stand a chance are Holst... and me! Heh!
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Hilda
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To prove that you're worthy of my hand in marriage, you're going to fight...yourself?
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Balthus
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I always knew I was my own worst enemy. One day, I'll finally meet my equal in battle. Me.
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Hilda
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Haha! So you're going to punch yourself out? Is that your idea of a romantic gesture?
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Balthus
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When that fateful day arrives, Hilda, I want you to know that I intend to keep my word.
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Hilda
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Huh. A girl could do worse, I suppose.