Caspar & Bernadetta C

Bernadetta
And that one goes there. Perfect!

Caspar
Oh! Hey, Bernadetta! What's going on?

Bernadetta
Ah! Enemy! Enemy's here! We're under attack! Help! Someone! Anyone!

Caspar
Help? I'm the one who came here for help. I guess I'll just take care of it myself.

Caspar
I can't believe I got hurt trying to break up someone else's fight. It's ridiculous!

Caspar
All I do is step in to calm them down, and the next thing you know they're both at my throat.

Caspar
Hey, you ever been in a fight?

Bernadetta
Fight? You're challenging me to a duel?!

Bernadetta
No, no-no-no-no! I can't! I've never fought anyone in all my life! I surrender! You win!

Caspar
Uh, all right. That was easy enough. Not to be rude, but do you ever think that maybe your attitude makes you a little unapproachable?

Caspar
You should try stepping outside and socializing. I'm sure you'd make friends in no time if you didn't waste it all in here.

Bernadetta
Outside?! In no time?! Oh, sure! Yeah! Why didn't I think of that?!

Bernadetta
Or maybe it's just not as easy for me as it is for you! Did that ever cross your mind?!

Caspar
Why wouldn't it be?

Caspar
Making friends is easy! This one time I even made friends with someone I'd just been in a fight with.

Caspar
I think it was the gorgeous view that did it. We really shared a moment...

Caspar
C'mon, let's go check it out!

Bernadetta
Uh, h-hold on! Wh-what are you doing?! Please don't touch me!

Bernadetta
Aaah! Put me down! Put me down!

Caspar
Calm down. I'm just gonna carry you outta here. Easy does it!

Caspar
And here we are! See? That wasn't so bad now, was it? And what about this view? Gorgeous, right?

Bernadetta
So this is what death is like. Didn't expect it to be so...sudden.

Bernadetta
Come and claim me, sweet death. But first, let this evening sun wash clean my imperfect soul...

Caspar
Hey now, don't go dying on me, Bernadetta. It's just the sun.

Bernadetta
Huh? Wh-what? Where am I?

Bernadetta
Oh, it's...pretty. Such a lovely view...